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A Beginner’s Guide to Counselling -
What to Know before your first session

hand holding in show of support
How to find the Right Counsellor
Is Counselling Right For Me
What Happens in a Counselling Session
What to Expect in the First Counselling Session

Starting counselling can feel daunting — especially if it’s your first time. You might wonder: How do I choose the right counsellor? Is counselling even for me? What really happens in a session?

This guide walks you through the essentials, so you can take that first step with more clarity and less uncertainty.

How to Find the Right Counsellor

Choosing a counsellor is a personal process — and it’s okay to take your time.

  • Consider Your Needs & Goals

What am I seeking help for (e.g., anxiety, grief, relationship struggles, trauma)? Some counsellors specialise in specific area.

Do I prefer short-term solutions, or am I looking for deeper long-term work?

  • Check Qualifications & Approach

Look for counsellors registered with recognised professional bodies. Read about their therapeutic approach — CBT, person-centred, trauma-informed, psychodynamic — and see if it resonates.

  • Read Their Website or Bio

Notice how they describe their work. Do they sound warm and approachable?

  • Try an Intro Call

Many offer a brief consultation. Use it to get a sense of their personality and communication style.

  • Trust Your Gut for the Right “Fit”

The therapeutic relationship is key. During the first session, notice:

Do I feel heard and respected?

Am I comfortable being honest here?

Does the counsellor’s style match what I need (gentle, structured, challenging, supportive)?

The right counsellor is someone you feel you can trust. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to keep looking.

  • Consider Practicalities

Therapy works best when it feels accessible and sustainable:

Location & format: Do you prefer in-person sessions nearby, or online counselling?

Budget: Fees vary—some private practices, community organisations, or helplines may offer affordable or sliding-scale options.

Availability: Can you commit to the counsellor’s schedule?

Remember that counselling is for you. It’s okay to shop around, ask for referrals, or decide after a few sessions whether to continue. The right counsellor will feel like someone you can build safety and trust with.

 

How to Figure Out If Counselling Right for Me?

You don’t have to be in crisis to seek counselling. It can help if you:

  • Feel stuck in unhelpful patterns
  • Struggle to manage stress, anxiety, or sadness
  • Are navigating a big life change or loss
  • Want to understand yourself better
  • Feel disconnected from your emotions

Counselling is less about having “serious enough” problems, and more about wanting support to grow, heal, and cope better. It is a confidential, collaborative process where you and a trained therapist work together to better understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.

It’s not about being “fixed” by someone else, or being judged. It’s about creating a safe space for exploration, insight, and growth — at your pace

What Happens in a Counselling Session

At its core, a therapy session is a safe, confidential conversation focused entirely on you.

You can expect:

  • A space to talk openly without fear of judgment
  • Questions to help you explore feelings, thoughts, and patterns
  • Reflection on your experiences to help you see things in new ways
  • Tools and strategies tailored to your needs

Some sessions might feel emotional; others might feel practical. Both are valid. The focus is always on what matters to you in that moment.

What to Expect in the First Counselling Session

Your first session is about building connection and understanding your needs.

Here’s what usually happens:

  • Introductions & Ground Rules – Your counsellor explains confidentiality and how sessions work.
  • Your Story – You share what brings you to counselling and what you hope to gain.
  • Questions – The counsellor may ask about your background, current challenges, and support system.
  • Goal Setting – Together, you’ll define what you’d like to work toward.
  • Next Steps – You decide if you want to continue and how often to meet.

What your therapist might ask you:

  • Tell me a little about yourself.
  • What brought you here today?
  • How long have you been feeling this way?
  • Have you experienced similar challenges before?
  • Have you tried counselling or therapy before?
  • Who do you have in your life for support?
  • What would you like to change or improve?
  • How will you know therapy is helping?

Tips for Your First Session

  • Be honest about your comfort level: It’s okay to say, “I’m not ready to talk about that yet.”
  • Ask questions too: You’re also interviewing your therapist to see if they’re a good fit.
  • Take notes afterward: This can help you reflect on your impressions and remember what was discussed

No need to prepare a script — just come as you are. Feeling nervous is normal, and most people find it gets easier after the first step.

You might leave feeling relieved, tired, or unsure — all of these are normal. Counselling is a process; it takes time for trust and clarity to grow.

A Gentle Final Word

Counselling is a journey, not a quick fix. The relationship you build with your counsellor can be one of the most supportive tools in your personal growth. You deserve to feel safe, heard, and understood — and the right counsellor can help you get there.

If you’re curious, even a single introductory session can help you see if it feels like the right path. You might be surprised at how relieving it feels just to have someone truly listen.

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Counselling Services FAQ

Counselling is a very broad term used in conjunction with many types of advice giving. In the context of psychotherapy however, counsellors rarely offer advice, it is the active process of assisting and guiding clients, by a trained professional to understand and resolve personal, social, or psychological problems and difficulties.

Psychotherapy, also called “talk therapy”  aims at gaining insight into mental or emotional health, the resolution of inner conflicts, and to enhance your relationship with yourself and others

 

The initial session is when your counsellor has the opportunity to find out what brings you to therapy and gather as much useful information as possible.

The counsellor then discusses with the client the various approaches which may be appropriate.

This is also a good opportunity to raise any questions and concerns about the counsellor or process of therapy itself.

It is also nornal to feel anxious or somewhat apprehensive about speaking to a stranger for the first time.

If at any moment, the discomfort you feel is too much for you, do let your counsellor know.

Each individual session takes 60 minutes. When it is necessary, and when possible, extension beyond the 60 minutes session can be discussed with your therapist

 

Depending on the issue, short-term interventions can help a great deal in a very few sessions in the event of an immediate crisis.

Longer term therapy on an open-ended basis may be need for more deeply entrenched issues.

It is worth noting that it may take a few sessions to build up the rapport and trust necessary for therapy to work.

Effective therapy alleviates symptoms of emotional/psychological disturbances, reduces confusion and empowers a person to make their own effective choices and the decision to act upon them.

People enter counselling for various reasons, to regain psychological wellness, to address unresolved feelings, for personal development, to improve relationships, or to make sense of any emotions they may be experiencing.

The therapeutic relationship between a psychotherapist/counsellor and a client is strictly professional.

The therapeutic relationship differs from all other relationships you have.

You can tell your therapist things without having to worry about your information being told to others or in any way affecting your job, family or relationships. You can be honest with your therapist without having to worry about offending friends or family.

When a therapist asks how you are doing, he or she really wants to know.

It is very important to work with a counsellor/therapist that you are comfortable with and feel you can trust in order to form a good therapeutic relationship.

The level of trust and empathy between you and your counsellor is crucial to the success of therapy.

We adhere fully to the requirements of the Data Protection Act and the ethical framework set out by the SAC (Singapore Association of Counsellors) and APAC (Association for Psychotherapist and Counsellors).

All information disclose during therapy is private and confidential except in extenuating circumstances where there is risk of serious harm to you or others.

In the event of a life-threatening medical situation, call 995 or go to the nearest A&E.

crisis Helplines

if you or anyone you know are in need of immediate help

Samaritans of SingaporeInstitute of Mental Health